LOL...Wait, What?

Rarely am I surprised by the things that I read on the internets, but I found this article in particular to be not only shocking, but hilarious.  Shocking because I can't believe someone took the time to think this out, and hilarious because it's so fucking retarded.  Quote time, so you don't think I made this shit up.

(CNN) -- A new policy at Tufts University prohibits students in dorms from having sex while their roommate is in the room, according to the university's 2009-2010 student handbook.  The Massachusetts university's formal rule also bars so-called "sexiling" -- exiling a roommate from the room so the other roommate can engage in sexual activity.

So, the entire culture of "hey bro, take one for the team while I bang this out" is being done away with?  And how the fuck do they plan on enforcing this crap?  Are they gonna inspect the rooms during the after hours and say "hey, I know ya'll are boning and shit but I just wanted to make sure your roommate wasn't in here.  He might be trying to study."

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THIS BULLSHIT.

Wendy's, What The Fuck Man?

I swear, I love Wendy's food like nothing else, but rarely do I get to enjoy it the way it's intended to be eaten.  More often than not, I get the fries and nuggets that've been chillin' under the heat lamp for like 10-15 minutes.  How fucking hard is it to:

1. Keep some fresh nuggets/fries on deck
2. Put some FUCKING SALT on the FUCKING FRIES...saltless fries, where they do that at?
3. Give me some ketchup and (gasp) SALT with my order, since you idiots don't like salting the fries on your own!

Burger King and McDonalds don't hold a candle to your chicken nuggets, but I'm considering settling for the lesser quality shit cuz you apparently can't get your fucking act right. 

Congrats To The Detroit Lions!

If you weren't rooting for them to win that game, you're not an NFL fan.  Redskins disappoint again, and the St. Louis Rams now have the distinction of having the longest current losing streak in the league (13).  All eyes on them now.

Holyfield Ol' Boxing's Version Of Brett Favre Head Ass...

Raise your hand if you wanna see a 47 year old has been who's lost 7 out of his last 12 fights get back in the ring.  Yea, me neither.  I'm convinced the chick in the picture would knock his ass the fuck out at this point.  Hang it up, Evander; with your corny ass fast food commercial.

Silly People And Their iPhones

How's this for irony: one of the biggest selling phones in the history of cellphones is JUST NOW introducing features that have been available in cell phones for years.  iPhone users are jumping for joy over the realization that their piece of plastic Jesus can now (omg...get this) send video/picture messages!  *straightface*.  A few months ago, they were also blessed with the privilege of being able to copy and paste.   I'm just confused as to how people can constantly crown a phone as the best thing since sliced bread when it takes 2+ years to be able to do even the simplest of tasks.  Who the fuck makes phones that can't do MMS anymore?  That's the equivalent of:

• A DVD player with no pause or rewind function.
• A car with no windshield wipers.
• A TV with no volume controls.

Etc...etc...so forth and so on.  Shame on Apple for pulling the wool over the eyes of these gullible sheep.  You've successfully convinced people that they don't need core functions as long as the overall product is shiny and pretty looking.

The Word "Swag"

Do you remember when a new pair of shoes came out that were REALLY cool?  And you did everything in your power to be one of the first people to get the shoes?  You'd then show up to school and you had on these awesome ass shoes and everyone is all like "yo son those shoes are the bomb" but within 2 days, everyone caught on and you were one of about 932 people in the school with the SAME fucking shoes on?  To make matters worse, roughly 45% of these people went and got the same color shoes that you had!  So now, something that was initially cool and original turned an entire school population into sheep and there are close to 1,000 morons walking around with the same shit on.

That is EXACTLY what happened with the word "Swag".  It went from a mildly amusing term to being a staple in every loser adolescents vocabulary.  At first it was limited to lame rap songs, but now it's raring it's ugly head in every aspect of life.  Males and females alike are claiming to have "swag/swagger" as a way of describing themselves.  It's been given new life as a verb (swag/swagging/swagged), and when one is at a loss to explain what attracts them to a person (for instance, maybe they're ugly, stupid, a deadbeat, with nothing going for them at all in life), they can always say "well, they have swag".

I call for an end to this utterly retarded word, once and for all.  You may not have noticed, but after the successful "Swagger Like Us" song damn near two years ago, Jay-Z, Kanye, Weezy and T.I. have barely let the word escape from their lips.  Maybe it's because the realized something a lot of you losers haven't: THE WORD IS FUCKING RETARDED AND IT'S TIME TO HANG IT UP, NOW!

PSA: Fast Food Edition

If you go to the Burger King drive thru and order a "Whopper Junior w/ cheese with only ketchup, mustard and pickles", you are ACTUALLY ordering a cheeseburger.  So not only are you paying an extra 20-30 cent for a regular ass burger, you're holding up the line and confusing the poor 17 year old cashier that has to keep repeating your order to be sure they have the condiments right.  Learn the menu and know what the fuck you're ordering.  Kthxbai.

I'd Smack Whoever Paid For This

Michael Crabtree Is A Retard (Part 2)

I know I've written about this guy once already, but being 2 weeks into the NFL season and seeing no sign of Crabtree really burns me up.  An athlete turning down a job paying millions of dollars in an economy where people sit around either praying to land a job or praying they don't get fired/laid off makes PERFECT sense, doesn't it Michael?  Nevermind the fact that you're an unproven rookie and should be thankful you were picked up by anyone to begin with.  If it were up to me, you'd never play a single snap in the NFL after a debacle like this.

I Hope This Is Scripted.

For Hip Hop News & Entertainment at DimeWars.Com

But somehow I don't think it is. SMH.

Awards Shows Need More Lil' Mama

Jay-Z: "wtf is she DOING here!"
Lil' Mama: "I'm from Newwwwwww Yorrrrrkkkkkkk"
Alicia Keys: "LoL"

Facebook, WTF Yo? (Part 2)

Another weekend, another weird ass friend recommendation from Facebook.  Complete with weird ass profile picture and  exactly ZERO friends in common.  I'm convinced Facebook is falling victim to some stupid spamming and I'll politely ignore this for now.  But they better get their shit together.

Are You Ready For Some Fucking Football?

Finally, after months of waiting, the NFL season is here.  None of that meaningless preseason bullshit, these games count.  Steelers open up with a home game against the Titans; two AFC powerhouses going at it.  I couldn't ask for much more.  Question, tho.  I'm seeing all these analysts refer to Rothlisberger as the best quarterback in the league.  Wtf?  OK, yea he's got the two Super Bowls and shit but, Manning, Brady, hell, even Brees come before Rothlisberger in my eyes.  Just a thought.

Just Ordered My Blackberry Tour

All that stuff I talked about swapping my Blackberry for an Android device?  Yea...scratch that.

Update: They didn't ship it until this morning, so I won't get it until tomorrow. NOT COOL!! :-(

Update 2:  OK, I've had the phone for about 4 hours now, after downloading some apps, importing my address book, and tweaking my settings, I can honestly say this is the best phone I've ever used.  That may sound real bold and hyperbolic, but I'm so serious.  The 3G data speed is awesome, the phone itself runs a really smooth, snappy OS.  And it's just plain sexy to look at.  Crackberry till I die, ho.

So Wait...That's What People Were Getting Pissy About?

Only in America will parents find something "controversial" about the President of our country delivering a speech uplifting our students and helping them feel good about doing well in school.  What a bunch of retards.

Tila Fucking Tequila...

I promised I'd refrain from posting about pop culture gossip, but I really just need to speak on this.  Why does the world give a fuck about Tila Tequila?  She (allegedly) gets choked out by 'roid head Shawne Merriman, and the internets go insane!  I for one don't believe it for a second because Merriman is literally 4 times bigger than she is and if he choked her, she'd break into pieces.  Besides, didn't Shawne learn anything from the other ill fated NFL/celeb chick super couples?  THEY DON'T WORK!  Sidenote: Tila isn't even in the same galaxy as my future wife one night stand Kim K.

I mean, look at her.

Best. Movie Trilogy. Ever

There are few movies that I can stand to watch more than once.  There are even fewer movies that I'll actually enjoy if I happen to watch it more than once.  Back To The Future is one of those movies.  I've frequently sat down and watched all three movies back to back and even though I know what's gonna happen, I never lose any of the excitement or enjoyment.  In fact, I think I'm gonna watch it right now.  BRB.

Facebook, WTF Yo?

Facebook, I think there might be a glitch in your friend recommending algorithm because this "Tina Vazguez" person keeps popping up in my recommended friends list.  Not only does this person have just two friends, but I don't know either of them.  While I have no issues blindly accepting hot chicks, that profile picture weirds me the fuck out.  So, sorry Tina but I'm gonna have to pass.  Kthxbai.

Buy The Music Or Shut The Fuck Up

I'm not gonna use this entry to get all preachy and denounce those who download music illegally.  I've done it in the past, and occasionally still do.  I'm not even 100% convinced on whether downloading music is ruining the music industry or not.  My biggest issue is when you browse these internet hip hop message boards and people go out of their way to talk shit about the music they just bootlegged.  Lets take the Blueprint 3 for example.  I said in my review that while there were a few songs I wasn't entirely crazy about, it was a very stellar album overall.  I throughly enjoyed listening to it.  But there are people on these boards talking about how 'Hov fell off and the album is sub par, yadda yadda yadda.  I get that music is subjective and people are entitled to their opinions.  But the idea of people collectively smashing something they got for free doesn't sit well with me. If you wake up on Christmas morning, and you get a gift from someone, that they paid for and gave to you just because, and you looked at it said "fuck this, this is garbage", wouldn't at least a little part of you on the inside feel like shit?  While clearly not the same situation, it's the same principal.  If people aren't gonna go out and support these artists, don't say shit when they drop an album.  Especially if you're gonna whine and bitch about hip hop being dead and wonder why fuckers like Gucci Mane and Soulja Boi are at the forefront of the industry.  Support the good music, leave the crappy shit on the shelves.  Keyword: SUPPORT.

Team Brinkz Presents: Qwasian - 999 Thousand (The Mixtape) Hosted By: Mercury

I try not to plug music on my blogs but this is a guy I work closely with in terms of putting music together.  He's good people, he supports my endeavors and the endeavors of anyone who is serious about their dream and I figured he deserves at least the same.  So check him out.  He's talented.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/1v3meb 

The Blacker The 'Berry, The More An The Droid?

What I'm about to say may come as a complete shock to you.  Or you may not give a fuck at all.  Whatever.  In any event, I'm strongly considering switching from a Blackberry (which has been my smartphone of choice since 2005) to an Android powered device.  I'm a self admitted tech/gadget nerd.  I love trying out new things so I'm known to swap phones once every few months.  For the past year, I've had a Blackberry Curve which I absolutely adore.  But my love for Blackberry's can't help me overlook their one sore spot: software.  As great as the devices are, and as awesome as they are for emailing, the overall software operating system has been limited to very subtle advances since I first owned one.  And seeing the Android platform grow before our very eyes makes it very appealing to a nerd such as myself.  Having played with the T-Mobile (gross) myTouch 3G, I really dig the interface and I like what the platform stands for as a whole. If Verizon brings the attractive Android device I'm hoping for, I may very well be living my last days as a Blackberry owner.  Motorola better not fuck this up for me.

Michael Vick...Welcome Back (Officially)

First off, I'd like to congratulate Michael Vick on his official return to the NFL.  Secondly, I believe that if you are an NFL fan, regardless of who your favorite team is, you should be rooting for Michael Vick to succeed.  Here is a guy who clearly messed up, did some things he shouldn't have done, and ran the risk of completely ruining a blessing that VERY few people on this earth get to experience: being paid a shit load of money to do what they love.  But after paying his debt to society, he's back and he's showing the world that he truly appreciates the second opportunity he's being given.  So long as he stays on the right path, I truly believe he deserves the support and blessing of us all rather than the disrespectful jeering and boo's that he's sure to get from rival teams.  He's human, and he's entitled to the second chance we'd all want if we fucked up.

Rappers Going To Jail

I'm not really familiar with Max B as an artist, but I know enough about the guy to know he just got sentenced to prison for doing something stupid and illegal.  Out of sheer curiosity, I decided to look up some info on the guy to understand the details.  Turns out, he was involved in a robbery/kidnapping that resulted in someone getting killed.  I was fully prepared for the fans to defend him and say he was getting the short end of the stick from the legal system and sure enough I found what I was looking for.  Peep these.

"R.I.P MAX HOPE THEM APPEALS GO YOUR WAY BUT THEM KRACKERS GOT TO MUCH EVIDENCE"


"yo, they throwin the book at rappers. first C-Murder"


"THEM CRACKERS KAY SLAYED THAT BOY MAX B...HE AINT EVEN PULL THE FUCKIN TRIGG MY NIGG!! HOLD YA HEAD MAX ..ILL SEE U ON THE APPEAL CAUSE THERES NO WAY THAT 75 YEARS IS FAIR..IN JERSEY HE GOTTA DO AT LEAST 25-30 OUTTA THAT 75!!"


"Damn Max Hold Ur Head up. ~Free da WAve~"


These are all direct quotes, I cut and pasted them from Hiphopdx.com.  The flowing, unconditional love and support for a criminal was really beginning to unnerve me before I finally came across someone with a little bit of common fucking sense.


"How is it that every rapper the goes to jail is "innocent" to you people. ALL of them."


Hmmm!  Great question!  Remember the whole "Free Pimp C" thing, the "Free T.I." thing.  Basically, a rapper goes to jail (usually for a deserving reason), and rap fans rally around them as if they're some helpless victim of the system.  That shit was cool back in the 60's when we were going through the civil rights movement and you had people like the Black Panthers willing to sacrifice their own freedom and rights to see to it people like you and me have the privileges we have now.  But when a rapper gets caught doing the dumb shit he talks about in his songs, I have ZERO sympathy for them and I hope they rot in fucking jail for the rest of their lives.  Fuck Max B and anyone who wears a "Free Max B" T-shirt. 

I'm Glad I'm Not A Celebrity

Seeing Chris Brown publicly defend himself on CNN to people who really have no business giving a fuck about what went on between him and Rhianna made me think.  I'm REALLY happy I'm not forced to live under the same microscope as singers, dancers, actors, rappers, etc.  Can you imagine what TV would be like if Larry King had to interview every guy who smacked up his girlfriend?  That would be unbelievable.  I get that when you become a celebrity, you're opening your life up to the view of the public.  But that, in and of itself, is what rubs me the wrong way.  Their job is to entertain us.  Not to spill their guts about what's going on in their personal lives.  And you may say "well hey, Chris chose to do the interview", and you're right.  But it's not exactly like he REALLY had a choice.  If he didn't talk to Larry, the media and the public in general would have just continued to spin their own versions of what went on between he and his girlfriend.  It would have continued to get published, people would have continued to believe it, and his public image would have taken the same hit.  When you really step back and gain a new perspective on that, isn't it pretty fucking sad how obsessed we (yea, I'm guilty of it too at times) are with the lives of "celebrities"?  I'm willing to bet if we paid as much attention to our own lives, maybe more of us would have our shit together.

Don't Let This Guy See Your Baby Crying

Otherwise he'll slap the shit outta the poor thing.  I can't lie, there have been many times I wanted to throw a haymaker to a kid crying obnoxiously in public.  But there are some impulses that are best left un-acted on.  Hope his ass get's the proper legal treatment.

Trust Me, The Cowboys Are Not Going To Win A Playoff Game This Season

I know alot of football fans and, for whatever reason, alot of them happen to be Cowboys fans.  Some of them are pretty cool about it, and partake in harmless, all-in-fun shit talking.  Then there are those who are over the top obnoxious about it and break out the "Hey, we have five Super Bowls" argument every fucking chance they get.  Thanks to assholes like them, I'm forced to deliver a cold reality check to Cowboys fans everywhere.  Mark my words, you will NOT win a playoff game this season.  Here are the reasons why.

• Tony Romo is your quarterback.  He's not terrible by any stretch of the imagination.  But he's yet to prove he's worth all those millions Jerry Jones decided to hand him.  His play has been almost as up and down and his NYG counterpart (who's been the victoim of far worst critisism) and he always manages to choke down the stretch.  This is more or less his do or die season, and I hope the pressure doesn't get to him. (Sike)
• Roy Williams is your #1 receiver.  Not saying he sucks, but he's no T.O.  Plus, he spent half of last year with the Lions, and spent the other half completely under acheiving and not catching the ball.  So really, who even has an idea of what this guy can really bring to the table?  Yea, you have Marion Barber but that guy is a maniac; the human body can't take the pressure he glady puts himself through for 16 straight weeks so his production will predictably drop.  Felix Jones will stub his toe by week 3 and Whitten can't carry the offense on his own. 
• Wade Phillips is your coach.  This guy is a pussy and the only reason he's there is because Jerry doesn't wanna go back on his promise that his job was safe.  Any other coach that allows their team to miss the playoffs by losing 44-6 against a divisonal rival would have gotten the ax THE VERY NEXT DAY.  Wade ain't taking no one to no damn Super Bowl.  You know it, and so do I.
• You don't have T.O. anymore.  

The Giants are hungry after a first round exit last year.  The Eagles now have one of the most exciting playmakers in the history of the NFL.  The Redskins are kinda just there, which leaves you guys.  If you're lucky, you'll make it to the playoffs as a wildcard.  But that's where it stops.  Just hope Romo doesn't wind up crying on the field clutching his helmet again, because this time you all have a 40 million dollar jumbotron for it to be broadcast on. 

NFL Blackouts = Not Wavy

Being an NY Giants fan in a Washington Redskins market, local blackouts aren't really something I've had to deal with.  But seeing a few articles today about the possibility of the Jacksonville Jags suffering from local blackouts this year made me curious.  So I wikipedia'd the whole thing and it left me feeling uneasy.  For those who are unfamiliar, a blackout means the NFL will not broadcast a local game unless the tickets sell out.  So if everyone in Green Bay doesn't go out and fill up Lambeau Field, no one in Green Bay gets to see shit!  There's more to it than that, but it's kind of unsettling that the NFL has that authority.  I get that there are financial/business reasons behind all of this, and I can understand the NFL wanting to cover it's behind.  But there was one stipulation that really ticked me off.

If the blacked-out home game is played on a Sunday afternoon, all local stations inside the 75-mile radius must show a different NFL game during that time slot (the network typically chooses the game). Also, NFL Sunday Ticket cannot offer the game into that area. As stated earlier, the doubleheader network can broadcast only one game into that team's primary market (usually the #1 game), which is also designed to prevent people from opting to watch the other locally televised NFL games instead of going to the local team's game. Again, the secondary markets would still carry a doubleheader. Sometimes, the networks will switch time slots so that the doubleheader network can still show its featured 4:15 game.

Whoa, so wait a minute.  You mean to tell me that an NFL Sunday Ticket game, which I'm paying for out of my own pocket to see, can be blacked out under these stupid rules?  That's complete and utter bullshit.  I may not have purchased a ticket, but I've directly put money in the NFL's (and DirectTV's, too) pockets!  I deserve the right to watch whatever fucking game I want!  I love the NFL dearly.  It's just about the most entertaining sports league in the world as far as I'm concerned.  But I find myself growing more and more sick of the behind their scene business practices.  And this whole blackout thing may become a reality for more and more people as the economy worsens and we fans are unable to throw money away on overpriced tickets.

His Parents Should Be Ashamed Of Themselves

Like, dude...srsly.

Thank You, Ricky Rubio, For Wasting Everyone's Time

The NBA draft was months ago, and by now just about everyone has secured the contracts with their draft picks. But Ricky Rubio is above signing with the team who not only drafted him, but finagled their way into a higher draft slot to do so.  Now, The Minnesota Timberwolves are the lucky guys who get to deal with having blown the #5 draft pick on a guy who may or may never even play in the NBA, let alone for THEIR TEAM.  How fucked up is that?  Look kid, I know there were all types of strings and stipulations attached to your potential NBA career, but here's the thing: If you're that fucking unsure about it, dont' throw yourself into the draft and screw up the strategy of potential suitors.  I'm no huge Timberwolves fan so I don't really care, but as a sports fan in general, it kind of angers me that this kid and his handlers were so wreckless in this situation.  Stay in Spain, Rubio.  Favre already fills our need for wishy washy, waffling athletes.

Congrats! You're a Douchebag!

Douchebags come in all shapes and sizes. But the true "trailblazing douchebag" award goes to the guy who smugly prances around with a fucking sweater tied around his neck.  There's very little on this Earth that irritates me more than the sight of one of these losers.  If it weren't for possible jail time, I'd punch each and every one of them on site, no questions asked.  And this doesn't just apply to males.

 

She manages to be of equal douchebag nature. Terrible.