Draco Malfoy = Eli Manning

Tell me I'm wrong?

Fuck The Snow [Snow Rant]

That is all.

GameFly Hasn't Tightened Up

After voicing my displeasure with GameFly in a previous post, I was hoping my fortunes would turn around.  I even upgraded my membership to include an extra game.  But after waiting 4 days for one game to arrive, and waiting 5 days for another game to arrive at their shipping center, my frustration is quickly growing.  I'd blame the delay on the post office if it weren't for the fact that my Netflix transitions go off without a hitch.  (well, almost.)

iPad Prediction

You know the feeling of annoyance you get when people sit in Starbucks tapping away on their laptops "writing their book", or when people pretentiously look down on other cell phones claiming iPhones can do EVERYTHING any other cell phone can do (even tho that's completely false)?  I think that feeling will explode 100 fold when people inevitably claim the iPad is the best computer they've ever used.  Watch, it's only a matter of time.

The Apple iPad

I am a self proclaimed technology geek.  I get hyped up over just about every new product.  But for some reason, I can't seem to shake the feeling that the iPad is a pretty weird choice for a product.  Think about it.  If someone has an iPhone, buying an iPad would be a complete waste of money, since they're gonna do practically the same thing.  The iPhone would actually be the ideal device since it's smaller, more portable, and doubles as a phone.  The iPad would then only appeal to someone who hasn't purchased an iPhone yet.  Unfortunately for Apple, that's not very many people, since the iPhone is the biggest selling phone in the country.  Who exactly is your target audience then?  Polls don't lie.

Update: Gizmodo completely ripped the iPad for a number of reasons, all of which are rational and pretty irrefutable.  Sorry apple, can't get by on good looks this time.

My Job = Password Nazi's

I forgot my password to the payroll website at my job.  Now I have to come up with a new password, a process I completely dread because the criteria they've set up are absolutely asinine.  They are as follows:

• have at least 6 character(s).
• not be longer than 8 characters.
• begin with a letter.
• not contain your profile ID or name.
• not be an old password.
• not have more than 2 pair(s) of repeating characters.
• only contain letters and numbers, not symbols.
• end with a letter.

I mean, is it really necessary to have all of these conditions?  I try and keep the same password across all platforms/websites to keep myself from forgetting things but these stupid criteria make that impossible. It's the very reason I forgot mine in the first place; I'm forced to come up with some crazy ridiculous password every 3 months (and yea the system forces you out when that time is up, doesn't even give you the option to change it ahead of time).  I'm all for job place security but this is retarded.

Wawa Is My Favorite Store

I love everything about this store.  It's enough that they have every array of snacks you'd want, they sell light blue soda (can't find those anywhere), they have touch screen menus where you can construct your own hoagies, and if that weren't enough, you can fill up your car at the same time.  Yea I know Sheetz and some BP's are technically the same, but Wawa does it better.  Don't question me.

Consequence, Kanye, John Legend - 'Whatever You Like"

This song isn't new, but I happened to discover this song over the weekend and I can't stop listening.  Good Music consistently puts out, well, good music.  (corny, I know.)

Congratulations To The New Orleans Saints

The 2009 Saints found themselves in a unique position.  Although they dominated the NFL for much of the season, much like the 2007 Patriots, they were still a very easy team to root for simply because the franchise as a whole has never bee all that great.  There's a reason they used to be affectionately referred to as "The Aints".  Couple that with the fact that New Orleans has grown so attached to it's team in the wake of things that the city has gone through, and it's no wonder why they were somewhat of a darling.  The only story better than Brett Favre leading his former rival to the Super Bowl is the Saints finally making it after a history of being an underachieving franchise.  For once, both #1 seeded teams will face off in the Super Bowl in a true test of might.  I can't wait.

RIP To Conan O'Brien on NBC

His show >> Leno's show.  He'll be on TV soon enough, and (not to be spiteful), I hope Leno's ratings suck.  Long live Coco.

Parking Lot Etiquette

I went to Wal-Mart this morning before work and was reminded of yet another reason I sometimes dread leaving the house.  It's bad enough people in my city don't know how to drive, but it appears some people have dips in their IQ as soon as they enter a parking lot.  There are alot of things that annoy me about people in parking lots but I'll list the three biggest issues I have.

1. The parking space scavenger:  This is the idiot who notices someone loading groceries into their trunk, so they pull up near them, flash their signal to indicate that they have "dibs" on this soon to be empty space, and back up the flow of traffic since the people behind them can't get anywhere.  Cut that shit out. 
2. The "I'm too lazy to park, so I'll just pull up in the fire lane and throw my hazards on" guy:  As the name suggests, parking their car a few feet away from the store entrance and walking to the store is a bit too much trouble for them.  This also distrupts the flow of traffic because now I gotta make sure no one is coming from the opposite direction before I go around.  Cut that shit out.
3. The "crooked/tire on the line" parker:  Probably the most egregious of all parking transgressions.  This idiot just plain doesn't know how to park.  It seems they always strike at the most annoying times; their bad parking will cost you one of the last spaces available, forcing you to continue driving around until you're so far from the damn store you'll forget what you went there for by the time you make it in.  CUT THAT SHIT OUT.
   

The New Dominos Pizza

I thought this was gonna be some BS hype when I saw that schmultzy commercial about re-booting their pizza recipe.  I'm sorry for thinking so foolishly.  Not including the mom-and-pop pizza shops on almost every corner in the Bronx, Dominos now has the best pizza I've ever had in my life.  I urge everyone to go out and buy some. Right now.

Masturbating Bear

This will never get old.  Another hilarious moment by Conan O'Brien that NBC will be screwing viewers out of for the foreseeable future.  Thanx Guise!

Happy Birthday, Ron Harper!

Today, Ron Harper is 46 years old!  He had a 16 year NBA career and may go down as one of the most forgotten members of the Bulls Dynasty.  In fact, he's probably more known for his cameo on Kenan and Kel than playing basketball. Lulz?

The Post Office Sucks

What you see before you is one of my Netflix shipments.  That's how the post office delivered it to my home.  You can see the envelope is terribly ripped, but that's not even the best part.  The IMPORTANT part of the envelope (you know, the one that has the DVD's) is nowhere to be found.  But the Post Office is efficient in clearing up any confusion.  Here's what the back of that little plastic slip cover says:

We care! Dear Postal Customer:  We sincerely regret the damage to your mail during handling by the Postal Service.  We hope this incident did not inconvenience you (LOL).  We realize that your mail is important to you and that you have every right to expect it to be delivered in good condition.  Although every effort is made to prevent damage to your mail, occasionally this will occur because of the great volume handled and the rapid processing methods which must be employed to assure the most expeditious distribution possible.

Translation: Your shits fucked.  Our bad, lulz.

Thankfully, it's just a Netflix movie, and all I had to do was go onto the website and click "report problem".  I had a new one two days later.  I've actually had the good copy sitting on my desk for over a week now.  Yes, it took the post office over a week to deliver a worthless, shredded Netflix envelope with no DVD in it.

But what if this were a more serious, important piece of mail?  What if I were waiting on my income tax check to be mailed from the IRS?  It wouldn't be much use to me ripped in half.  Do you think I could convince the IRS to re-print and re-mail another check?  Probably not.  And who's to say some postal worker didn't just rip me off altogether?  He's probably at home right now enjoying Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on MY DIME!  I know instances like this are few and far between, but once is far too many as far as I'm concerned.  And the thoughtless cop out of an excuse apology on the back of this plastic slip cover leaves an even worse taste in my mouth.  I'd almost respect them more if they would've just stuck the half ripped Netflix envelope under the front door and called it a day.  I already strongly dislike the Post Office (I'd much rather ship through UPS and pay more), and this just added to my intolerance.

Why Doesn't My Debit Card Work At Wendy's?

This is an issue I've been having for over a year now.  Anytime I eat at the neighborhood Wendy's near my job/home, their registers are unable to read my debit card.  Now keep in mind, I use my card on a daily basis (I never carry cash), and I never have ANY issues getting it to work.  Wal-Mart, Food Lion, Movie Theaters, gas stations, McDonalds, NEVER AN ISSUE.  Yet soon as I get to Wendy's, the card doesn't read.  Hilariously enough, one kid tried to get lazy and say my card was declined.  I laughed at him and said "nah homie punch the numbers in", at which point the transaction went through.  What's the issue here?  They're registers seem to be relatively new.  They even have the lil' full color LCD's on the front that display your order and price.  Yet they can never get my card to read.  Luckily for them, I love their chicken nuggets enough to put up with this rather minor inconvenience. 

Martin Luther King, Jr

I'm not sure I even want to think about what life would be like right now if it weren't for this man.  So even if it's just for this one day (and sadly, for alot of people, I know it is), let's appreciate his legacy and try to make good on his dream.  It's the least we can do.

2009 Jets = 2007 Giants

If you woulda told me, in the beginning of the season, that the New York Jets would be one win away from the Super Bowl, I'd laugh in your face.  But they're one win away from the Super Bowl.  Who'da thunk it!  This is beginning to look alot like the New York Giants Super Bowl run of 2007.  Since my beloved Giants nutted in their panties to finish the season, this is the most I have to root for.  So sorry Peyton, much as I love ya (pause), I'm going for the Jets next Sunday!!

If There Ever Was An "End Of The Internet"

This would be it.  Shoutout to 4chan!

Jimmy Kimmel Murdered You On Your Own Shit

Wow man.  Conan got it in then Kimmel does this.  Jay might not even wanna do the Tonight Show soon.

NBC Is Retarded

Here is the situation as I understand it.  NBC promises Conan O'Brien the Tonight Show gig.  Conan waits for Jay Leno to gracefully bow out.  Leno ends his run, Conan steps in.  NBC curiously gives Leno ANOTHER show, only this time at 10pm instead of 11:35pm.  Leno's show gets shitty ratings.  NBC moves Leno BACK to 11:35pm (?), cuts it to a half hour (??) and pushes The Tonight Show a half an hour out of the only time slot it's known for the past 60 years. (???)

Clearly, the town isn't big enough for both of them.  And clearly getting rid of either means a breach of contract and a pay day.  Common sense would say since Conan is attached to the flagship show, he'd get the preferential treatment.  But alas, NBC seems to be dead set on accommodating Leno and letting the Conan chips fall where they may.  Conan has gracefully (yet assertively) refused to give in; and in doing so has gained my immortal respect.  I wouldn't stand for this ass rape of a condition either.  Why Leno was given another show in the first place is beyond me.  I like Leno and all, but if you still wanted to do a talk show, why not just keep The Tonight Show a few years longer?  Oh yea, that's right!  The show was promised to Conan, the same guy NBC is telling to kick rocks!

Another prime example that people in high positions don't always know what the fuck they're doing.

New Jersey Nets [Terrible Teams]

While going 0-82 will probably never happen, the New Jersey Nets are dangerously close to breaking the record for worse NBA team ever. They currently sit at 3-35 and the season is damn near half way through.  That puts them on pace to only win 6 games; 3 less than the worse team ever: The 1972-73 76ers.  I think it is a forgone conclusion the Nets aren't gonna make the playoffs this year, so if I were them I'd go ahead and pack it in for the remainder of the season.  What would be even cooler is if they reach the last game of the year with a 8-72 record and lose via a buzzer beater.  That would be EPIC on so many levels.

The world has already been convinced that you guys suck and are an embarrassment to the league.  Why not make it both official and immortal by going for the record books?

Keith Olbermann Is My Hero

He said it all better than I could have. He should run for office one day.  I'd vote.

This Pat Robertson Guy

I understand we have this whole "freedom of speech" thing going on in our country.  And I also understand that Pat Robertson (for the most part), is limited to a specific audience who chooses to listen to him.  But in this day and age, it takes little effort and even less time for outrageous comments to reach the masses.  Perfect example: he uses his 700 Club show to blame Haiti's pact with the devil for the terrible earthquake that recently hit the nation.  I also remember him making similar comments about Hurricane Katrina victims a few years back.  So am I surprised? Not really.  Am I appalled? Pretty much.  The sad part is while he is the man taking the heat for these out of line comments, I'm sure there are many people in this country (maybe even those we interact with everyday) who share his same sentiments.  That to me is far more troubling than the fact that this schmuck has a television show. 

Avatar

Mark McGwire Used Steroids. [Duh]

Mark McGwire did what Barry Bonds still hasn't done and admitted to using steroids.  In a statement to the press, he says:

I wish I had never touched steroids.  It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroid era.

I can appreciate the gesture in coming clean, although I have a hard time believing he would have done so if not for the fact he's now once again employed by MLB.

In other news, I think I heard Rush Limbaugh admit to not liking Negroes.

Wow, Rock. The Tooth Fairy?

I'm failing to understand how someone's acting career can spiral so far downward in so little time.  He came into the business doing tough guy action movies, and  considering he used to be a professional wrestler, that seemed appropriate enough. Two Disney movies later, we're greeted with this bullshit?  I can't think of a single actor that woulda made this movie even slightly bearable; let alone The Rock, who's still trying to prove he's not just another athlete turned actor.  Word of advice, fire your agent then smack yourself for agreeing to this terrible ass role.

Luke Wilson And Those Awful AT&T Commercials

I like Luke Wilson, I really do.  But I'm so sick of seeing him in these damn AT&T commercials.  Not because I dislike him, but I dislike the commercials.  And since he is in them, I'm now sick of seeing him.  The commercials are absolutely pointless if you think about it.  Here's what these commercials have taught me:

1. AT&T serves 93 million people in the US.
2. AT&T's 3G service is "supposedly" (read: subjectively) faster than Verizon's.
3. AT&T allows you to talk and surf the web at the same time.
4. AT&T lets you keep your unused minutes (swear I didn't know that before)
5. AT&T has the iPhone.

Of all these cool tidbits, which one refutes Verizon's claim that their 3G coverage is far greater than yours?  Oh, I didn't think so. 

The Rooney Rule

For those unfamiliar with the NFL's "Rooney Rule", it's a requirement for NFL teams to interview minority candidates for head coaching and senior executive positions.  While that may seem nice (even noble) in theory, the flaws were immediately exposed when I heard this quote on ESPN regarding the hiring of Pete Carrol for the Seahawks opening:

The only thing left for the Seahawks to do is comply with the Rooney Rule and interview a minority.

Cool!  Let's just interview a Black guy we have no intention of hiring so we can get the guy we REALLY want.  Makes perfect sense to me.

Physical Keys On An iPhone? There's An App...err...Stupid Gadget For That

For those who aren't fond of typing on touch screens (which shouldn't include iPhone owners since they probably knew what they were getting themselves into), comes a brand new piece of technology.  Judging from the picture, you insert the iPhone, and viola!!  Physical typing!  Too bad you can't use it to compose emails or text messages (which probably accounts for 99% of iPhone text entry).  If you ask me, I think there's already a much better alternative to this thing: A LAPTOP!

Target Takes Advantage Of Old Farts, Technologically Challeneged People, And Some Women

$99 to plug in your X-Box and set up a live account.  O'rly?  And I thought Best Buy was ripping people off.

GameFly Needs To Tighten The Fuck Up

GameFly is nowhere close to being new, and it's definitely not innovative.  But I only recently decided to sign myself up as a customer.  While the idea of a nonstop stream of video games is appealing, they are dangerously close to losing my subscription.  First of all, they only have four shipping centers, so there is a two day lag between shipping/receiving on both ends.  Meaning you put a game in the mail Monday, they receiver it Wednesday, you get your replacement Friday.  Basically an entire week with nothing to play.  Netflix, on the other hand, barely ever takes longer than one day.  Movie in the mail Monday, replacement by Wednesday.  And you can always stream shit online to hold you over till then.  Second of all, the number of games in stock is apparently super slim.  I got sent the 6th game on my list last week.  There was one point where NOTHING on my list (29 games long) was guaranteed to ship.  I would expect that for something like Modern Warfare 2, but I couldn't even get Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, which was once offered for free as a bundle game.  Being that the price is damn near twice what you'll pay for Netflix (a far better service overall), the least they could do was keep games in stock.  Yes, I know games cost way more than DVD's, but Netflix didn't see too big of a hit in service when they started offering Blu-Rays; which aren't exactly cheap.  I'll hold onto GameFly for a tad bit longer, but if I continue sitting around waiting for games to come, I'm canceling!

Thank You, Colt McCoy, For Wasting Everyone's Time

I mean, dang dude.  Because of your stupid injury, I'm sitting here watching a blowout.  That Gilbert kid didn't stand a chance.  Phillip Rivers once played the AFC title game with one leg and you're leaving the game because your shoulder hurts?  You suck.

Kim Kardashian Is Skinny, Airbrushed

My fanboyish obsession is waning.

Moar booty, less skinny!

People Are Depressed Because Avatar Is Only A Movie

What?  You think I'm making this shit up?  Oh, I'm afraid not.  Yes, there is a 76 page thread on an Avatar based message board about how people can cope with the fact that "Pandora" doesn't exist outside of the movie "Avatar".  I read the first page, but I don't think I'm bored, stupid, or crazy enough to read the other 75 pages.  If you want to, feel free.  It's right here.

Free Shawty Redd

Well, I mean...you know how the Hip Hop community is.  Rappers go to jail, and they get treated like martyrs.  It's only a matter of time before the "Free Shawty Redd" T-shirts hit the streets.  Let's forget the fact that he shot and killed someone.  Probably for no good reason.  Please, let's keep this nigga outta jail in case Jeezy and Gucci need some more beats.

Oh Hai, Google Phone.

I wanted an Android phone months ago.  You know, long before they became cool all of a sudden.  But as of now, I'm officially on Google's dick.  I was gonna get a Droid, but I might just wait for this bad boy to hit the big VZW, which ain't too far off from now.  Hawla!

Wow...Really?

And the sad thing is, some dude somewhere prolly tried to holla at her and gassed her head up.  Oh noes.

Post #100 [100]

This is the 100th time I've posted in this blog.  I'm sure that means nothing to any of you since the 13 readers I have probably only managed to read 8 entries.  Between all 13 of them.  But that's fine.  I will continue writing and offering my opinion because if I don't, who will?  Jason Whitlock?  Screw him, his opinion sucks and nobody I know likes what he has to say.  Anyways, I don't really know what else to do right now so I'm gonna leave you with a random link.  You can click it, or not click it.  I don't care, really.

2009 Giants Sucked Bad

Anytime you finish the season 5-0, and finish 8-8, you're a horrible football team.  Point blank.  This season has been harder to look at than this picture of Eli Manning.  What the fuck man?

Jay-Z "On To The Next One"

Hov is a genius lol.  Conspiracy theorist are having a field day with this one.  Me personally, I love the video.

Another Stupid Tattoo

My condolences to whoever has to call her "mom".