Happy New Years! [2010]

We are a little under three years away from the end of the world!! YAY!  If that's not a cause for celebration, you tell me what is.  Happy New Year!

Gigaton Punch

While this video is far from new, its still a lot of fun to listen to.  It should definitely bring an immediate smile to the face of anyone who played Street Fighter II in the early 90's.  Enjoy.

Airlines Are So Full Of Shit

Out of pure curiosity, I looked up some plane ticket prices and found something I couldn't help but laugh at.  Airlines are charging a "September 11th Security Fee", which can run anywhere from $2.50-10.00.  How hilarious is that?  Here's my question though.  Do the people who almost got their plane bombed out of the sky due to alleged terrorism get a refund on that bullshit fee?

Avatar Is Magnificent/Pretty Good

This movie review is gonna be broken down into two separate parts.  As you read, you'll understand why I decided to do so. 

Visuals/Effects/Symbolism - James Cameron's vision is brought to life in a pretty epic way.  Truth be told, the movie is a beauty to look at.  It may be one of the best looking films I've ever seen.  ALMOST to the point of being overwhelmingly beautiful, like the special effects crew weren't sure if you'd get the idea of how awesome this shit was, so they turned it up a few notches.  The visuals don't detract from the overall joy of the movie so it's cool.  Just the way the planet, the race, culture, and language was seemingly created from nothing, it's extremely impressive.  During the first act and a half, you'll find yourself completely awestruck. 

Storyline/Script - The first thing you'll notice is Jake (the main character) is a bumbling idiot.  I found myself 100% turned off from his character in the beginning of the movie.  He was irrationally insubordinate and difficult for no reason, and seemed to do the exact opposite of what would make sense. ALL THE TIME.  And some of his dialogue was corny.  But of course, he takes the normal transition of character you kinda don't care about to the noble guy who does and says all the right things in the end.  Which overall may be my one issue with the movie.  The story is engaging, but it's pretty predictable.  It's almost like you know how it'll turn out and you're just waiting 2.5 hours to get there.  But I will say this, James Cameron did a good job making it one hell of a ride.  Having seen the movie once, I wouldn't mind seeing it once more.  Maybe this time in iMAX or something.  Is it worth all the hype and accolades?  I dunno, but there are far worse ways to spend $40 in a movie theater. 

"Obsessed" Is A Terrible Movie

Get used to seeing me "review" movies all late and after the fact.  I typically do all my movie watching through Netflix, unless it's a movie that I'm just completely, 100% itching to see right then and there.  But anyways, I loaded up "Obsessed" after remembering the initial trailer having such promise.  Since it's been out forever, I've heard people saying it's a pretty sub par movie.  I like to find out things for myself but now I want my 1.5 hours back.  Here's why this movie sucks.

1. You literally know everything from the trailer.  EVERYTHING.  In the commercial, you see Ali Later's character getting a job with Idris Elba's character, she starts seducing him, he turns her down, Beyonce get's pissed and eventually, the two females fight in the climatic finale.  In the actual movie (spoiler alert), Ali Larter's character get's a job with Idris Elba's, she starts seducing him, he turns her down, Beyonce get's pissed and eventually, the two females fight in the climatic finale.  The only difference is in the actual movie, they have to find bullshit to fill in the other 1 hour and 34 minutes you don't see in the commercial.  
2. Beyonce is not a good enough actress to warrant her acting in a movie where she is to be taken seriously as an actress.  I think she's a good artist and all, but she's not at all convincing on the movie screen.  I would even go so far as to say if anyone other than Beyonce played her role, the movie might have even sucked 15-20% less because of it.  Half the time she prances about in her high dollar fashion as if she still thinks she's in a music video.  In fact, the opening scene shows her moving into her new house in some stilletos (wtf) and the final scene she's fighting Ali Larter in the attic wearing some knee high heel boots. OK BEYONCE. 
3. Ali Larter is a pretty good actress but the dumb writing/script left her no room to do a good job.  So she mindless becomes infatuated with Idris Elba.  For seemingly no reason.  There's no chemistry or unspoken sexual tension.  It's just outta nowhere.  Then she drones on the entire movie seeming like the annoying kind of crazy, rather than the disturbed kind of crazy.  You're supposed to hate the villian because they're evil, not because they're fucking irritating.  

This movie unknowingly showcases an increasing problem in Hollywood: handing out film roles to high profile celebrities who can't act.  I fail to believe that Beyonce truly went into an audition room and beat out other actresses to get this job.  I'm not saying that Beyonce can never do a movie.  That Dreamgirls/Cadillac Records stuff is right down her alley I guess.  But the thriller/drama/action movie genre needs people with real acting skills.  Not just people who look sexy as fuck in a black dress going to a dinner w/ Idris Elba.  Or a tan dress in the background meeting Idris Elba's coworkers.

Tired Of Your Snuggie?

Epic win like a muthafucka.

Merry Christmas, Everyone.

Christmas definitely loses it's luster as you get older, and I'm nowhere close to being in the spirit.  But I'm not gonna be a stinkapatamus about it and ruin it for all 6 of my readers.  So Merry Christmas to all, be safe and cherish those around you.

R. Kelly Needs To Sit The Fuck Down Somewhere

Wow Kells, really?  So let me get this straight.  You're seriously gonna tell me you're going from being a trailblazer in the music industry; having written some of the biggest hits the world has ever seen - both for YOURSELF and OTHERS; to swagger jacking the fuck out of Ron Browz??  A nigga who's WACK to begin with??  Yes! Your career is officially done!

Jordans

I know there's a culture of shoe collectors and sneaker heads who swear by the release of new (or old, whatever) Jordan kicks.  That's all well and good, but at what point does it become impractical?  I know people standing in line for hours to buy shit is nothing new at all, but that Black Friday/Doorbuster mess is generally to take advantage of some out of control sale you think you'll never see again.  Jordan shoes are typically the same price every single time they come out, if not more.  Yet without fail, the sneaker heads hit every Footlocker or Champs across the country to be one of the first 3 miillion people person to be seen with them in public.  I guess since I'm not a sneaker head, it's not something I can relate to.  All i gotta say is, everyone that manages to wake up at 5 A.M. to buy some overpriced shoes yet can't find 20-30 minutes in a 12 hour period to vote for the president: fuck your life. 


Update: I've heard unconfirmed reports of people getting held up gunpoint for these shoes, but here's at least one incident of a fight breaking out.  Idiots.

Geek.com Is The Worst Tech Blog Ever

Every once in a while, I'm going to attach a picture to an entry that doesn't directly correspond to what I'm saying.  Now is one of those times.  Anyway, I have a serious issue with geek.com.  I consolidate all of blog reading via Google Reader.  The majority of the blogs I follow are tech blogs (engadget, gizmodo, etc).  Without fail, geek.com will publish a story 2-3 days after I've already read it on another blog.  WITHOUT FAIL.  It is so annoying to flip through these articles and get this sense of deja vu because they're publishing old shit.  What the hell man?  This is the internet, information is so easy to come by and digest that your days-late-posts are 100% useless to me.  I've kept my subscription because you occasionally have some interesting shit but I'm THIS close to unfollowing you.  Wait, that's a twitter term, nvm.

Suck It, Virginia [Snow Rant]

For half of my life, I lived in New York City; arguably the single busiest city on the planet.  And in all of my years there, I've seen schools, businesses comes to a screeching halt maybe once.  Late openings, sure..maybe.  But a complete city shutdown?  Highly unlikely.  Living in Richmond, VA I see the city shut down if we get 3-5 inches.  Hell, I've seen schools close because of a rain storm (flash floods apparently scare everyone shitless).  Being an adult with a job means closings don't really affect me, so I'm forced to deal with the lackadaisical way Virginia handles inclement weather.  You see, main roads and interstates get taken care of with acceptable quickness.  But for those of us who live on side roads, and not main roads (read: all of us), we're FUCKED.  I spent 2 hours digging my car out of my own parking space...only to have to park it back there later in the day.  The next morning, the little bit of snow that was left on the ground froze, and I was unable to drive it off.  My brother's neighborhood hasn't seen a plow or an ounce of salt, therefore the entire street iced over.  At first I thought to myself "maybe it's irrational to expect the city of Richmond to make any extra efforts to help make the smaller neighborhoods more drivable."  Then I remembered New York..hit with snow storm after snow storm, yet managed to continue on, business as usual, as if nothing ever happened.  So it's not impossible.  Virginia is just apparently too clueless to figure how to make it happen, and that pisses me off.

The Washington Redskins Are Terrible

With 10:12 left to go on Monday Night Football, week 15, the New York Giants are embarrassing the Washington Redskins 45-12. The 'Skins are playing at home, the fans who haven't left early are booing.  I'm convinced the 'Skins are the worse team in football, and here's why.

1. They're getting blown out by the Giants, who've lost 6 of the last 8 games.
2. They lost to the Lions.  
3. They have a coach who can't call plays. 
4. They have one of the top rated defenses in the NFL, but can't win, because they don't score.
5. They paid Albert Haynesworth $100 million to do nothing. 
6. They lost to the Lions.
7. They ALMOST lost to the Rams. (which woulda been worse than losing to the Lions.  As bad as that is.)

'Skins fans better PRAY for Shanahan to come to y'alls rescue.

The Original Get Money Boyz [Myspace Rappers]

I logged onto Myspace (yea, I know..) and saw this on the lil' update/feed thingy.  Think I'ma make this a regular thing, lots of lulz to be had at these clowns expense. They're called The Original Get Money Boyz

Wait, Wut?

Maybe Dru Hill is making a come back or whatever, and that's cool.  But this isn't the way you wanna go about doing it.  Just plain frickin' weird man.

Kenny's Bite Sized Non-Adventures

I don't know why, but I found this hilarious.  Innanets need moar of this. http://www.kenney.nl/game.php?id=kenney_part1

Cowboys Fans...

Enjoy this victory now.  Yes, you beat the Saints.  But the Saints are going to the Super Bowl, and y'all aren't.

Sincerely, Stress...the bitter NYG fan.

Inglourious Basterds

This movie did two things.  1) It showed why I enjoy Tarantino's movies so much and look forward to seeing them. 2) It showed why I have a man-crush on Brad Pitt.  Typically I'd follow a statement like that with a pause, no homo, or something similar.  But fuck it, as ridiculous as the character was, it only proves how good an actor he is.  

NBA = Twitter Nazi's

Is the NBA petty enough to monitor the Twitter account of it's players and cross reference the time of their tweets w/ the time their game ended?  Apparently so.  Whoever bagged Jennings for his 100% harmless twitter post needs a fucking life, seriously.

Thirsty Thursdays (On A Friday)

Oh man...bathroom cell phone pics + climbing on sinks + drawn on eyebrows + corny ass d00ds = teh lulz.  Comments!!

damn gurl lookin hella hella bomb... hmmm i wonder how u got it under there :p

Damn u sexy. Dats a perfect position 4 me 2 eat dat ass


I wanna get wats under dat dress

how flexable are you????

KAL ME ASAP <----that was the thirsty comment of the week

g-star 13itch

CALL PPAI SEYX AT 609-257-8563 ASAP <---- until I saw this one. 

RIP Chris Henry

I don't like seeing young, black athletes live reckless lives filled with drugs, criminal activity, etc.  I was happy to see Henry brought back to the Bengals late last year and it truly seemed he was getting his life back together.  That makes the announcement of his passing even sadder.  I don't know the details surrounding his death (nor do I want to), but I truly feel bad for his family; his three young children in particular.  My thoughts go out to them all.

Kim Kardashian

That is all.

The Necky? Come On, Man...

I'm convinced that the people who make these things simply want to piss me off.

Krispy Kreme

So I'm driving down the street and realize the hot light is on at Krispy Kreme.  I pull up, park my car and walk inside.  I order a dozen fresh, hot, glazed donuts and a bottle of water.  I have myself a seat and proceed to eat 6 of them right at the table, almost as if I'm eating regular meal at a regular fast food restaurant. While everyone else is purchasing their donuts and going about their merry way, I'm crushing half a box of Krispy Kremes (yes the picture is the actual box I purchased and its aftermath 5 minutes later).  Is that bad?

Pause, Man #1

"Even though the whistle had blown, you teach your guys, you always pick up those balls."

DeSean Jackson = Deion Sanders

Deion Sanders got the name "Prime Time" because you always had the feeling he'd bust some crazy play and dance his way into the endzone.  Even tho Deion didn't really play wide receiver until later when Michael Irving starting doin' crack and shit, I think we are looking at our generations "Prime Time".  Every time McNabb spends more than 5 seconds in the pocket, I just have a sinking feeling Jackson is wide open somewhere waiting to catch and run his way into the endzone.  And usually, I'm right...since he's already tied the record for most 50+ yard TD's with three games left to go.  I am a Giants fan, but I'm a football fan in general and I can't help but tip my hat to this guy.  Barring injury, he could very well be one of the Top 5 most electrifying NFL players ever.

CoD: Modern Warfare 2 = teh Dope

I generally don't rush out to buy games on or around their release date because as much as I love them, I'm not in the mood to continuously drop $60 for them.  I'd be broke if I bought every game I wanted.  But after holding out for about a month I finally broke down and got MW2.  It's pretty much every bit as good as the hype would lead you to believe.  After one day and roughly 6 hours of playing time, I'm two missions away from completing the single player campaign.  I haven't even touched multiplayer (except for a BS 2 minute run in a death match where I got sniped silly) or the special ops mode.  I see that now Medal of Honor will be rebooting their franchise to keep pace, and it kinda makes me cringe a little.  I hate copy cat videogames, no matter how good they are (I'm talking to you, Saints Row).

It's Official: If You Cheat, You WILL Get Caught!

A few years ago, former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick got caught up in a broo-hah-hah when a collection of incriminating text messages between he and his mistress were made public.  This became the realization of a nightmare for two-timers the world over.  But apparently some people didn't get the memo, because we've recently seen both Shaquille O'neal and Tiger Woods fall victim to the whole exposed text message/email/voicemail thing.  I find myself questioning how newspapers and tabloid mags get their hands on private data like that in the first place.  My guess is the un-famous part of these lewd equations make deals for some loot.  In any event, it's time for people to realize something.  The combination of social media and technology makes everyone's life that much easier to track.  Everyone has Blackberry's, iPhones, etc.  These phones rely on data plans, and data plans rely on servers.  Meaning the things you do on these phones CAN ALWAYS COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU!  And as we've seen, more often than not that is precisely what happens.  So rather than vilify Tiger for his poor choices, let us LEARN from them.  This isn't 1995.  We're no longer restricted to beepers and 911 pages.  Descriptive text messages and emails will get your ass hemmed up.  Please act accordingly!

Thirsty Thursdays (12/10/09)

It's been a while since I've done this, and that's my fault.  But in keeping with my decision to post everyday for 365 days straight, this series can easily account for 52 of them.  So without further ado, here are this weeks Thirsty Comments.

DDDDAMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...

..LOL...

DDDAAAAMMMMNNNNNNNNNNN (same guy, three comments later)

thats tough. There is a God in heaven sitting on a golden throne lol

She needs to be on a calendar. the girls got it all the clothes, the look, and more and damn she's fine

WOW. I don't think there's anything anyone could say to really express that feeling of awe they got when they saw this pic.

LOVELY!!!!
i swear this pic highlights EVERY1 of ur beautiful features from
Head 2 Toe!!!!!!
=)

What are yall saying? this pic is really not that serious! is it? <----- Comment of the week, because it comes from the female in the picture herself...effectively (yet subtly) clowning all of these thirsty guys. haha! Thumbs up!

911 Calls Going Public

I'm trying my best not to turn this blog into a celebrity gossip site.  I swear I am.  And as such, I'm not gonna offer any commentary on the details surrounding the Tiger Woods thing.  But the longer this situation drags out, the more it irks me.  Are we really that hungry for drama that we have to publicize a damn 911 call?  I roll outta bed this morning to hear Tiger's wife frantically asking the operator for help.  How the hell has my life been enhanced by hearing this?  The public/media's thirst for gossip is becoming sickening.  Everyone has an opinion on everyone else...how about you live your own life and leave Tiger and his family the hell alone?

Lulz

I really need to start writing in here more often.  So today marks the 1st of my 365 straight days (Re: year) of constant posting.  Seriously, I mean this.  On days when I have nothing significant to post, I'll just post up some lulz worthy shit.  In bulleted list format, of course. 

• Washington Redskins fans are the worse.  I had one Skins fan come up to me to congratulate me on my team beating the Cowboys.  No comment whatsoever on the fact that HIS team of choice blew a two score lead and a chance to defeat the best team in football 'cause they're kicker apparently doesn't know how to kick.  Oh no.  A Cowboys loss was more important than a Skins victory.  
• Tiger Woods, wtf man.  
• Hurricane Chris says he's the best rapper alive.  Presumably wasn't drunk or high when saying this.  Think I'm joking?  Read it for yourself.  It's right here.  
• Why did Taylor Swift beat out Michael Jackson in a music award catagory again?

That's all. More later.  Maybe.

Tiger Woods.

This whole Tiger situation only serves to emphasize how chaos-hungry we are as a society.  As much as Tiger has accomplished in his life (he is the richest and most recognizable athlete, ever), this debacle has given him more media coverage than he's ever gotten; atleast in a 24-48 hour time frame.  Such a shame that someone has to fall from grace for people to pay this much attention.  Not that this will matter next time he kills it at a major and walks away with another title, wife by his side and cashing in another pay day.