Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Trust Me, The Cowboys Are Not Going To Win A Playoff Game This Season

I know alot of football fans and, for whatever reason, alot of them happen to be Cowboys fans.  Some of them are pretty cool about it, and partake in harmless, all-in-fun shit talking.  Then there are those who are over the top obnoxious about it and break out the "Hey, we have five Super Bowls" argument every fucking chance they get.  Thanks to assholes like them, I'm forced to deliver a cold reality check to Cowboys fans everywhere.  Mark my words, you will NOT win a playoff game this season.  Here are the reasons why.
  • Tony Romo is your quarterback.  He's not terrible by any stretch of the imagination.  But he's yet to prove he's worth all those millions Jerry Jones decided to hand him.  His play has been almost as up and down and his NYG counterpart (who's been the victoim of far worst critisism) and he always manages to choke down the stretch.  This is more or less his do or die season, and I hope the pressure doesn't get to him. (Sike)
  • Roy Williams is your #1 receiver.  Not saying he sucks, but he's no T.O.  Plus, he spent half of last year with the Lions, and spent the other half completely under acheiving and not catching the ball.  So really, who even has an idea of what this guy can really bring to the table?  Yea, you have Marion Barber but that guy is a maniac; the human body can't take the pressure he glady puts himself through for 16 straight weeks so his production will predictably drop.  Felix Jones will stub his toe by week 3 and Whitten can't carry the offense on his own. 
  • Wade Phillips is your coach.  This guy is a pussy and the only reason he's there is because Jerry doesn't wanna go back on his promise that his job was safe.  Any other coach that allows their team to miss the playoffs by losing 44-6 against a divisonal rival would have gotten the ax THE VERY NEXT DAY.  Wade ain't taking no one to no damn Super Bowl.  You know it, and so do I.
  • You don't have T.O. anymore.  
The Giants are hungry after a first round exit last year.  The Eagles now have one of the most exciting playmakers in the history of the NFL.  The Redskins are kinda just there, which leaves you guys.  If you're lucky, you'll make it to the playoffs as a wildcard.  But that's where it stops.  Just hope Romo doesn't wind up crying on the field clutching his helmet again, because this time you all have a 40 million dollar jumbotron for it to be broadcast on. 

No comments: