Apple's Full-Of-Shit Assed Press Conference

Anyone that's been paying any kind of attention to any media outlet should be familiar with the complaints surrounding the iPhone 4.  The stories picked up steam with users posting YouTube videos detailing the issues and it wasn't long before tech blogs and even CNN began chiming in.  For the first time in the history of the product, people were unhappy with the iPhone on a pretty wide scale.  But the actual problem wasn't the worst of it.  The REAL problem came with Apple's sloppy handling of the aforementioned problem.  Here's a quick outline of the events leading up to yesterday's press conference.

• Users begin to notice signal problems when the bottom left corner of the phone is touched. 
• Loads of YouTube videos hit the net showing the same problem happening to numerous people.
• Actual techie people with tech knowledge recreate the signal problem in a controlled environment, showing it to be a REAL issue.
• Apple tells it's users to man up stop holding the phone wrong.
• Apple backtracks and says "oops, actually...there just might be a signal problem, but it's a software thing, not a hardware thing".
• Apple gets hit with class action lawsuits and is placed on Consumer Reports shit list with a "can not recommend" rating. 

This brings us to yesterday, July 16, 2010, when Apple FINALLY decided to formally address the public and let us know what is going on.  Here is a breakdown of what they had to say.

• Hey guys, every cell phone has signal problems!  Rather than take ownership for a design flaw that could be causing these problems to show up, they take the "it's not just the iPhone" road.  While this MAY be true of other phones, I've never seen this many complaints for any other phone, nor have I personally experienced an issue with any other phone and trust me, I've owned QUITE a few.  This is clearly trying to deflect attention away from the fact that Apple may have fucked up, both in the design process and in the quality control process and to me, it's a terrible way to begin your damage control.  
• Only 0.55% of AppleCare calls have been in regards to signal problems.  This may have been the most misleading piece of "data" that Jobs presented to the press.  Let's think about it.  Most iPhone owners will call AT&T or visit the AT&T store first before calling AppleCare.  And with a problem this widespread and well known, the call to AppleCare is almost pointless because we already know what's going on.  What can AppleCare tell us that we don't already know at this point?  So of course AppleCare's calls won't be in regards to signals, dipshit.  It would have been nice to know what percentage of AT&T's calls were in regards to signal issues, but of course Jobs didn't offer that piece of "data".  
• The iPhone 4 has a very low return rate.  Of course it does, Steve!  77% of your iPhone 4 sales came from previous iPhone owners!  Meaning they bought the phone to replace their old one!  Also meaning they blew their upgrade that the only get once every two years!  Why return the phone they paid for $200 only to have to pay $600+ a few months later?  They might as well stick with and hope you and your people do your job and fix the issue some how.  Keeping the phone doesn't mean they're 100% happy with it.  

It seemed to me Jobs was only interested in submitting data that painted Apple in a positive light.  He steadily denied that the iPhone had any problems, yet conceded to the public's request to give every iPhone owner a free case.   As a humorous aside, RIM responded and basically said "our phones don't require cases to work properly so keep us out your crap".  Ouch.